Saving Christmas with ‘The Elf on the Shelf’ (The NoPro Review)

You’d be hard pressed to find a year when Christmas cheer was in shorter supply than this one.

This is not only a difficult-to-dispute fact — apparent to just about anyone across the world — it is also the premise of The Elf on the Shelf’s Magical Holiday Journey.

You see, each year Santa Claus takes a test flight of his sleigh, weighted down with presents, decorations, and snacks of all kinds. Claus-ing being hard work and all. Unfortunately this year, because of the drastically low levels of global Christmas spirit, Santa has crashed landed.

In Pomona.

Apparently having just missed the runway at Brackett Field, across the road, Santa planted in the parking lot of the Los Angeles County Fairgrounds, the stage on which our journey takes place. We have been summoned to help spot the sleigh bells that are the engine of Santa’s sleigh, which need the Christmas cheer deep in our hearts to power flight. St. Nick’s team of dedicated elves are standing by to siphon that energy back to the sleigh so Mr. Holly Jolly can get back to the skies.

No, really.

All this unfolds in front of us from the safety of our cars, with the aid of a metric ton of lights, a custom app, and a host of elves both logistical and acrobatic who somehow maintain their preternaturally cheery demeanor in the desert cold of the Fairplex after dark.

I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect out of one of these newfangled drive-thru experiences. After all, the prospect of driving around a parking lot while watching colorfully dressed performers practice circus arts isn’t exactly why I got into covering immersive theatre in the first place. I mean, I like colorfully dressed circus performers. They’re some of my best friends. But the writer’s room has really been altering the deal of late, and neither we, nor Santa, would be in this mess if certain Grinches hadn’t stolen the Fall and Winter holidays from us. So here we are, and for what it’s worth I completed the Magical Journey thinking that we should keep these in the roster once the whole Pandemic Age is over.

For starters: despite this being a moving processional, there were no problems with the flow of traffic on the night I visited. Meaning that no one rear ended anyone, which is more than I can say for the last time I was at a car wash. When everyone is moving at “One Fun Mile Per Hour” with their headlights off, lead foots are lightened indeed.

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While Christmas cheer is hard to come by this year, there is something to seeing all the lights in whimsically arranged tableaux that makes this feel as close as I’ve felt to a theme park dark ride in months. From station to station, with each turn of the wheel and of the app’s “pages,” the kid in me woke up from the doldrums of this year and found himself grinning from ear to ear.

The aforementioned app is clever indeed: delivering the story in a series of “chapters” which are separate podcast tracks streamed over the internet. The musical score by Curtis Moore (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) is nestled somewhere between “downright catchy” and “mercifully pleasant.” No earworms here, which might be a disappointment for those looking for something to hum on the way home, but the upside is that no one will be begging to change the channel. A soundtrack perfect for Christmas parties in 2021, to be sure. Our Scout Elf narrator pops up at the beginning of each chapter to frame the set piece in front of us, and there’s just enough dad jokes to elicit a few chuckles and groans. (Do elves have dads? No, wait. Don’t answer that.)

The only real issue with the app doesn’t have anything to do with the app, but rather the sandwich board signs that are placed along the route to indicate when we should advance to the next track. These weren’t always lit well enough to catch in a way that didn’t cause a little anxiety about spotting them.

On that note: this is almost certainly better as a date night or family excursion (the latter being the obviously intended audience), as a solo trip through the course had me at points juggling my phone as an app, driving (more like coasting, really), switching over to snap photos, writing a letter to Santa, and drinking the complementary hot cocoa in quick succession. Which is a bit more than one person should be doing behind the wheel, but a lifetime of playing video games has trained me for such moments.

The Elf on the Shelf’s Magical Holiday Journey wants to add some of that zing of the holiday spirit to a year that really keeps on pulling out all the stops on stealing our joy. For a little while, cruising through the Fairplex grounds, it’s possible to forget about the sheer chaos outside.

And when I finally did come face (behind the driver’s side window) to face (on a little island) with Santa it felt like my heart grew a whole size.

Hey: it’s 2020, don’t expect the full miracle, you know?

By the way: don’t get too excited about that free cocoa I mentioned, this was preview night and they were sugaring us up. (Clever.) But there is a snack bar which allows you to order online (with the help of QR codes), and the exit is through the gift shop lanes, where its possible to load up on Elf on the Shelf swag, of which there is a lot. Like. A. Lot. I had no idea.

In fact, I’ll leave you with this: the best part of this whole thing is something I haven’t even detailed — although I did mention it, but left the secret out — and the happens to be something that you can take home with you. Honestly, I almost do want to spoil it, it’s that good. But no. Some presents are best to leave for you to unwrap yourself.

The Elf on the Shelf’s Magical Holiday Journey runs through January 3rd at the LA County Fairplex in Pomona. Tickets start at $24.95 per person.

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