‘Pass the Sugar, Please?’ Is A Treat for Cunning Linguists (Review)

The trope of a secret group of wealthy, powerful sex fiends is an old, prevalent one. Countless stories have imagined them in their masks and flowing robes, free from the constraints of social norms. From the missing but clearly alluded to acts in The Picture of Dorian Grey to the all too sinister world of Eyes Wide Shut, this image has permeated the public consciousness.

What most have failed to imagine is the morning after. How many intimate acts do you really need to have before you can recognize someone, mask or no mask? If these are the wealthy and the posh, then surely they must meet each other outside the secret bondage club, right? I imagine there must be a whole world of inane conversations over fancy meals where both parties, pretending to be strangers, know (and pretend not to know) things more intimate than are revealed to their closest friends.

This imagined morning after sets the stage for Pass the Sugar, Please?, a video conference LARP presented by Intramersive. Based off of the game written by Clio Yun-Su Davis, from the anthology Honey and Hot Wax: An Anthology of Erotic Art Games, edited by Lucian Khan and Sharang Biswas (who also served as moderator for my game), players are guests at a tea party, who all know each other from the private, secret sex club they were at the night before. Discussion of said sex club is forbidden both by tea party etiquette and by the rules of the club. But good sex requires good communication, so it’s up to players to communicate and decode messages about their pleasures, wants, and heartfelt secrets using metaphors about the delicious spread of tea snacks.

The game is structured beautifully. An introductory round gets titters and nerves shaken out, as each player introduces themselves sexually through selecting a tea, the players’ basic roles such as “the secret switch” and “the brat sub” already known to all players. This quickly trains us on the central mechanic of speaking in and decoding metaphors. Each subsequent round plays much the same, but with private information. Perhaps you need to select a finger sandwich to say how much you enjoyed the lashings last night, or find exactly what delicate pastry communicates your fears of commitment. Either way, no matter who was speaking, the game was an enthralling challenge, as everyone tried to guess what was being communicated across the table’s sexual pairs.

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Beyond the titillation, the game left all at the table feeling good. While I assume more people would sign up for a game hearing it was about kink and finger sandwiches, at its heart, Pass the Sugar is a game about consent, relationship negotiation, and the vulnerability it takes to be honest with a partner. A late game conversation had us near in tears as me and my partner used a series of cakes to describe our fears that we weren’t meeting the other’s needs. The game ends up becoming a fun way to practice communication for when the time comes to actually open up about your feelings. You can tell people to eat their metaphorical vegetables, or slip it in with the fun; Pass the Sugar does the latter. The game gets absolutely filthy, in the best way possible as we continue.

I also must applaud Intermersive for the rigorous safety and comfort protocols attached. Each player character is modular, so the game can (and is) adjusted in the set up to avoid triggering content. Biswas acted as a facilitator, steering the conversation and affirming shyer players that they were doing well. This was all in addition to standard LARP safety protocols, such as a structured de-charactering session at the end and talkback session.

Past the meaning, Pass the Sugar is a delightful, arousing good time. In a time when many people feel sexually and sensually isolated, it’s a charming way to explore the fun of the spectrum of human sexuality. The tea party becomes a playground for lascivious adventurers. In getting out of yourself and into another character you can learn shocking things about both yourself and the wider world of sexual possibilities. Company members reported that my play group was a fairly knowledgeable set, but often players would be introduced to new (potentially thrilling!) activities.

As the courses go on, I’m both delighted by the ribald, titillating conversation, and the thrill of the emerging soap operas as each couple’s sexual pleasures and needs become clearer. When they conflict, the drama is real; will they be able to patch it up? Will there be, no pun intended, a happy ending to the session? For me and my partner, we managed to make it work. All the smut is good fun, but it’s a core of genuine affection that makes Pass the Sugar, Please? work. Overall, I’m thrilled to see sensitive sexual exploration still be as exuberant and fun as this, and am eager to dive deeper in (so to speak) when Khan and Biswas’ Honey and Hot Wax is released this coming summer.

Pass the Sugar, Please? runs weekly on Friday nights.

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